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I'd met Adrian online through Face Party. We'd got chatting when
he sent me a message asking why I used the screen name Grimlet.
We hit it off, so when I found out that his parents lived just around
the corner from me, I invited him round for a coffee so we could
chat properly.
The chemistry between us was amazing right from the moment I opened
the front door, and he charmed me so much that I found myself thinking
about him constantly. He seemed perfect, and as the weeks passed
and we started spending more and more time together, our relationship
became even stronger.
We saw each other for ten months, and things were going great between
us. Adrian was in the Royal Military Police, based at Aldershot,
so we had to make do with a long distance relationship, me being
in Birmingham. But nevertheless, we still made time to see each
other just about every weekend.
I introduced him to my whole family, and my children - Pascal, 10
and Abby, 4 - adored him. Abby always got really excited when he
was coming round. He took to my kids and really doted on them, which
made me love him all the more. To find a good man when you're a
single parent is a miracle, but to find one who actually made an
effort with the kids - I thought I'd struck gold!
Summer came around, and it was then that I noticed things starting
to change. He seemed to have lost interest in me, making excuses
for why he couldn't see me as often. When he did come and stay,
he was always glued to my computer, covering up what he was doing
when I caught him.
Then the text messages started. Early one morning, I was awoken
by the sound of a beep, and I opened my eyes slightly to see him
feverishly pressing buttons. I rolled over and he quickly stopped
and dropped the phone onto the bedside table.
"Battery must be on its way out," he told me. "That was the warning
noise."
I knew it wasn't, so naturally my suspicions began to arise.
After he had left to go back to base, I logged into my computer
to check the internet history. Sure enough, he'd been chatting on
Face Party, as I suspected. I went to browse members to see who
he had been talking to lately, and found five screen names, all
belonging to women.
I looked at the profile of the first - a lady called Sandra who
lived in Germany. I scrolled down and my eye was caught by her 'perfect
partner' description. "My soldier," it said. My heart was thumping.
This couldn't be a coincidence!
I emailed her to ask if she knew Adrian, and within minutes she
mailed back to say that Adrian was her boyfriend, and he stayed
with her whenever he was over there on military business!
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I was devastated. We chatted on the phone that night for
over four hours, and she told me that it was her that had
been sending the texts in the mornings! He'd basically lived
the same life with her as he had with me, getting to know
her kids, telling her all the same things he told me - he'd
even dedicated the same songs to her!
Yet still, like an idiot I carried on seeing him. I loved
him and found it hard to let him go. I guess I hoped he'd
change and that I was the one he actually loved.
That day, I'd also sent emails to the other women, but most
had replied saying they'd chatted to him but nothing more.
I was happy with this, telling myself that maybe Sandra had
been someone he was seeing before he met me, and that it was
over now.
Things carried on as normal, Adrian visiting at weekends,
and I soon started to fall for him again. But he was still
different to the man I'd met at the beginning, nowhere near
as affectionate as he had been. I put it down to the time
we'd been together - couldn't expect him to stay loved up
forever!
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But then, just when I'd put it all out of my mind, I got another
shock. I logged into my email to find a message from a lady
called Sally.
"Yes, I do know Adrian Tissdell. He's my boyfriend. Why? Who
are you?"
Shaking, I emailed back, saying that I was his girlfriend, so
she couldn't possibly be. I asked her when she saw him if they
were together.
She replied telling me that she lived near his base in Aldershot,
and that when he went down there, supposedly to his home, he
was actually with her!
It was coming up to Christmas, and I'd decided enough was enough.
He came round to visit and I confronted him about Sandra and
Sally.
"I haven't got any other women babe," he begged. "I love you
don't I? It's you I want to be with."
But I wasn't buying it, and I called him a liar. We argued for
ages, then suddenly, he blew a fuse. He grabbed hold of me and
hit me, pinning me against the wall by my throat. Then I fell
to the floor and he kicked me, bruising my legs and arms, and
damaging my wrist. I screamed for him to stop and eventually
he left me alone, stumbling to a chair in the bedroom, in floods
of tears.
This time I wasn't going to fall for him sympathy tricks, and
I called the Police. I didn't care that he told me our relationship
would be over if I made a statement. As far as I was concerned,
it was over anyway after all this. They arrived soon after and
we were both taken to the station.
I made statements, but they told me that as he was a Military
Policeman. Any further action would be at the discretion of
his commanding officer. I wasn't surprised when I found out
he'd been let off.
Adrian refused to speak to me after that and give me an explanation.
I fully intended to get over him and start again, concentrating
on my university Forensics course and not letting him get in
the way of my success.
But, only a couple of days later, I discovered that I was pregnant.
I couldn't believe the timing of it - any other time in the
last ten months I would have been thrilled. But now it was over
and I'd have to raise the baby alone. I knew he wouldn't be
interested in being a part of the baby's life, but still I phoned
Adrian as I believed he had a right to know.
I dialled the number but got a no number tone - he'd changed
his number! I called his parents' house and they asked me who
I was.
"I'm his girlfriend," I replied. "Or rather I was. I need to
let him know I'm carrying his baby."
His dad scoffed at me. "We know Adrian's girlfriend. She's called
Tash - we've met her. Just stop bothering him, will you?"
Tash? Surely there couldn't be another one? But it certainly
looked as though there was. Just how many women did this man
have on the go?
"Look," I spat. "I'm carrying your son's baby, and I think he
needs to know. He can't just walk away from it."
"His dad laughed again. "Well, what do you expect, getting involved
with a soldier?" He hung up.
Adrian did call me back later that day, but only to call me
a slut and tell me that the baby wasn't his, and was probably
one of my other bloke's! I was heartbroken! I devoted my life
only to him and never been with anyone else while we were together!
A few weeks later, I was struck with the most amazing pain in
my stomach, and raced to hospital to find I had miscarried.
I put it down to all the stress. I was devastated. Not only
had I lost the man I thought was my future, I'd also lost my
baby.
I'm still in counselling over what happened but I'm starting
to get myself back together. My little daughter Abby took it
so hard when Adrian walked out because she adored him. She has
nightmares now and often asked when Ade is coming to see her.
I have to keep telling her he's ill.
The strangest thing that has come out of this is that I'm now
really good friends with Sally! She got rid of Adrian when she
heard what he'd been up to, and now we chat online almost every
day.
I'm now back at University, studying hard for my Forensics degree.
I'm determined to get my life back on track and not let that
man ruin my life. I have to be strong for the sake of my kids
- they've been through enough.
I want to warn any women who are approached by a man under the
screen name 'tainted_saint' on Face Party to steer clear! Don't
be fooled by all the charm - not all soldiers are heroes! |
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