Dating Advice Articles - Carlos Xuma

If you get eye contact and smile...approach her!

Check out the excellent range of books by Carlos here

Article Begins....

QUESTION:

At lunch yesterday I saw this really great looking classy girl. She was obviously having lunch with some co-workers, as was I. We made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles. How does one go about approaching her? If she "separated from the pack" I could have maybe done something. Is this a lost cause for future encounters of this type?

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Ah, the old "get her away from the pack" question. This is probably one of the most common dilemmas for guys, and it's very discouraging because of the supposed risk of embarrassment.

No, it is never a lost cause. Remember, every situation can be handled if you stop and plan in advance. We're human beings and problem solvers.

In the situation you were found yourself, this gal gave you some definite I.O.I.s (Indications Of Interest). When you make eye contact and get a smile, you should move in immediately.

You're probably wondering, "But don't I need to wait until I get a convenient break from the herd?"

• The "convenient" break will probably never happen. Don't wait for circumstances; make them.
  
  
• If you wait, you'll end up lowering her interest, because you won't look confident as you hang around skulking and waiting for your ideal window of opportunity. The Serengeti is full of tigers that will pounce on their prey if you won't. The longer you wait, the more likely you'll starve in the singles' jungle. (And the faster she thinks: "Wimp.")
  
  
• If you wait, your inner LoserBoy will start discouraging you. Loserboy is that voice in your head that undermines your success so you never have to risk losing - or winning. The two of you can sit at home watching re-runs of "The X-files" and drinking old beer. He'll turn you into a chicken by whispering disempowering messages to you, like "Nah, she's probably already taken," or "She just wants to eat her lunch, not meet a possibly interesting guy." Don't give Loserboy the chance to start talking.

So, how do you introduce yourself without feeling like an intrusive dork?

If the group she's in has more than one female in it, your best option is always to use a wingman (a friend who can help break the ice for you.) Coach one of your friends in advance and have them ready to fly intercept for you.

Here's a low-risk option: Have the waiter bring over a note saying something like: "Hey, I know you're with friends, but if you'd like to make another friend, step away for a second. (Don't make me come over and start singing to you.)"

Unless she's terminally shy, she will more than likely step away. No need to get clever with your introduction when she comes over. Here's one that works for me: "I don't normally interrupt people during lunch, but I just had to give you the pleasure of meeting me." (Give her a playful smile.) "What's your name?"

Wait for her to ask you for your name, as this is a key indicator as to whether she's interested in you.

Remember that a teasing and cocky attitude is necessary because it helps communicate your value as an Alpha Man. You need to communicate your confidence and independent posture to her so that she understands you're a real man, not a wimp that will bore her after the first date. Women want men with a sexual charge about them, and are turned off by "nice guys" who can't muster the courage to go after what they want.

End the tease with a smile to show her you're just kidding around. If she gets indignant or weird, you excuse yourself and move on, because you've just discovered that she's probably insecure and bitchy. But more often than not, you'll now find yourself in a conversation with a hot woman. Congratulations!

End it quickly with the "Well, I have to get back to my friends. It was nice talking to you." Then you hand her a pen and tell her to write down her email or phone number. Don't ask her - tell her, and she'll give it to you.

Remember, guys: If she's interested, she doesn't care how you introduce yourself, just as long as you do.

Check out the excellent range of books by Carlos here

Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, The Seduction Method, and Secrets of the Alpha Man, and too many other articles to mention.

Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:

Hangout
Plus
Seduction Insider
Juan
Seduction Method
Dating Newsletter
Single Again
Cliff's List
Dating Class
The Dating Insider Book
Man Mindset
Summum Magazine
Savvy Insider - the art of single living

Carlos: "I wanted answers to the riddle of women for years, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed (or even a clue, really), I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else.

(I started this before there was an "internet," mind you. :)

When I got as much as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying and experimenting with women. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got laid. I watched why people did the things they did and noticed how their behavior influenced how other people perceived them.

I have spent years and years out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why any guy should have to go through that.

So I wrote these e-books, crammed full of information that is practical, useful, and REAL. None of that "buy her roses/write her poems/tell her how you feel" crap.

You know, life is a lot shorter than you think.

Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you should have done?

You only get one shot at this life, so seize this opportunity. It's time to start winning.

Invest in yourself and learn the strategies and mindset that will make you successful not just with women but in LIFE."

Carlos Xuma

email: advice@datingdynamics.com

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