Dating Advice Articles - Carlos Xuma

Seduce her.....Because that's what she WANTS!

Check out the excellent range of books by Carlos here

Article Begins....

I'm going to start off with a sensational statement:

No matter what today's pop culture and media tell you, women don't want men who are "feminised." They want men who understand women, but behave like MEN.

Every romantic involvement with a woman must begin with a passionate seduction in order to develop into anything further. You cannot start out as friends and hope to turn it into romance later on. ("Friends first" is a myth.) Remember: Seduction isn't bad or wrong. It's absolutely necessary.

Picture this scene: a guy is talking with a beautiful woman. She's laughing away at his jokes, flipping her hair back, and touching his arm as if she's known him forever, but you know she's only just met him. The worst part is that he's not even good looking! And his suit looks like he just shot his couch. Eventually, she leaves with him.

What could this guy possibly have or know that allows him to be brave enough to jump in and attract beautiful women successfully?

He has some of what I call the Critical Success Factors (the "Three S's") with women:

- Self-confidence
- Sense of humor
- Self-control

These traits combined create a powerful communication style that will put you over the top with any woman you desire. Good looks are not - repeat - NOT necessary.

Here's a secret, and this may be the most valuable information you'll ever read:
Women cannot logically choose the men they feel attracted to.

They cannot choose this voluntarily, any more than men can choose the women they find visually attractive. Your attractiveness resides on a subtle layer of communication, just below the surface of your appearance. Once you know the principles of this communication style, you can use it whenever you need to get a woman interested in you.

Women want to be seduced by men. But only by a man who initiates in the right way. So, how do you use this knowledge?

Begin with these critical principles:

- A woman does not want to be constrained or confined.
You cannot come on too strong or threaten her freedom. If you do, she will rebel and disappear. You must always be an inch out of reach for her to feel comfortable letting you pursue her. She must never feel as if she's tied down unless she chose to commit. Women are addicted to having fun for about the first 25-30 years of their lives. It's usually only when she hears the biological clock ticking loudly that she abandons her carefree existence for some guy she can "settle down" with to have a few kids. Attempting to "lock her down," the way most guys try to do with a pretty woman, will only backfire.

- A woman will feel attracted to men who tease and challenge her.
Teasing raises frustration, which starts her attraction. To the degree that you can remain elusive and retain the aura of a valuable commodity (i.e., hard-to-get, wanted by other women) you will command her respect and attraction. In other words, she wants what you do not easily give her. This is especially true for women that are very attractive. Since they were little girls they have been used to getting their way solely from being good-looking. Their egos are fed by constant adoration. You must find ways to knock her off her pedestal and bring her back down to earth.

Women are attracted to specific, confident traits in men, and your behavior demonstrates them. There is a set of specific behaviors that starts a woman's attraction mechanism for a man. You need to know EXACTLY what those behaviors are, and how to communicate them.

Forget anything your mom or dad may have told you. Ignore the advice of your jaded, bitter female friends. If you want to learn what women really want, throw logic out the window. Start watching what women actually respond to, not what they say they want.

Sexual Power

There are a lot of men out there today with a lot of repressed anger over the seemingly endless hoops guys have to jump through to get sex. This essentially comes from anger over women's authority and power - the ultimate say-so or say-no. If you find you have a lot of this anger, or extreme bitterness about the process of dating to pursue sex, you'll have to find a way to let it go if you expect to make any long-term success in the field of meeting and dating women. This anger is rooted in a deep-seated belief that since women control the supply of sex, and you have the demand, they somehow own or control you. Nothing is further from the truth.

However, if there is a part of you that has a very difficult time getting over it and accepting that women ultimately can and do say "No" to men, you may wish to seek counseling of some kind. The techniques and strategies covered here are for men with very little (if any) emotional baggage about women. Again, you have to love women, and you can't be trying to change her if you want to seduce her. Think about how our society refers to sex. Men are expected to "get lucky" with women, as if all sexual success is based on rolling the dice and seeing who you end up with, and if she will or will not "put out." Sex is a game of chance, according to popular belief, and if you try to learn the rules so that you can turn the game in your favor, you're looked on as some kind of cheater.

Why not take a planned approach? Why would you leave your future up to fate when you have the ability to control your destiny?

When we're done, you're going to have knowledge that most men will glimpse but never understand. Remember the words of Goethe:

"Knowledge is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do."

And the advice I offer to you:

"If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting."

Check out the excellent range of books by Carlos here

Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, The Seduction Method, and Secrets of the Alpha Man, and too many other articles to mention.

Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:

Hangout
Plus
Seduction Insider
Juan
Seduction Method
Dating Newsletter
Single Again
Cliff's List
Dating Class
The Dating Insider Book
Man Mindset
Summum Magazine
Savvy Insider - the art of single living

Carlos: "I wanted answers to the riddle of women for years, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed (or even a clue, really), I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else.

(I started this before there was an "internet," mind you. :)

When I got as much as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying and experimenting with women. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got laid. I watched why people did the things they did and noticed how their behavior influenced how other people perceived them.

I have spent years and years out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why any guy should have to go through that.

So I wrote these e-books, crammed full of information that is practical, useful, and REAL. None of that "buy her roses/write her poems/tell her how you feel" crap.

You know, life is a lot shorter than you think.

Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you should have done?

You only get one shot at this life, so seize this opportunity. It's time to start winning.

Invest in yourself and learn the strategies and mindset that will make you successful not just with women but in LIFE."

Carlos Xuma

email: advice@datingdynamics.com

Get the "Secrets of the Alpha Man program ... "

Other Articles:
| carlos xuma 4 | | carlos xuma 3 | | carlos xuma 1 | | getting over it | | writing a winning dating profile | | writing dating profiles | | carlos xuma 2 | | Being in love online | | relationship insecurity | | What went wrong |