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Dating Advice Articles - Carlos Xuma
I was interested in finding a girlfriend when I turned 18 last year November. I have made a few mistakes where i was rejected and I did not know why. I did some research and read many books but am still unsuccessful. This is really messing up my self esteem.
I am very good looking. Not that I'm bragging, but I am told this by many of my sister's friends who are 26 years of age and over.
To get to the point, I feel that reading these books makes me feel insecure as if I require help, like a crazy person seeing a psychiatrist. and as a result girls can sense it somehow.
How many mistakes do I have to make (roughly) until I get a girl?
CARLOS WARNS OF AN IMPENDING SELF-ESTEEM CRASH:
The funny thing is that most guys out there assume that if you're good looking, you've got it made with women. As you can tell, this just isn't so. You're having some problems.
You are asking me: How many mistakes do you need to make?
Forget the numbers. Here's how you need to look at it ...
QUESTION: How many mistakes do you need to make?
You can't quantify this stuff. You can't make it an easy prescription that I can write you and tell you that if you make exactly X number of dates, you'll get 1 girlfriend.
It may take 1 mistake. It might take 500 mistakes. (It will take a lot less if you study my e-books and programs, I'll tell you that right now.)
WHO CARES how many it takes? All that REALLY matters is that you MAKE those mistakes and get them out of the way now, so that you can get to that warm, happy place we all want to get to a lot faster. All that REALLY matters is the kind of MAN you become in the process!
That warm, happy place that I speak of is called SUCCESS, my brothers.
If I told you it takes a thousand mistakes, would that be more than you could handle? Would you give up? Run off and cry, maybe just forget about it and live alone for the rest of your life?
NO. An Alpha Man would NEVER give up until he figured it out. Never!
Remember the motto from the movie "Apollo 13": Failure is NOT an option!
You seem to be amazed when you say that women can sense your attitude "somehow." Of course they can sense your feelings. Most guys understand how refined and heightened a woman's radar is to guys who are insecure and lack confidence. It's her "wimp" detector, and it serves her well.
Women grew up interacting in very complex and intricate social situations with their other girlfriends, all while you were sitting home playing Nintendo, or sneaking peeks at your dad's porn magazines. This refined "intuition" is how she keeps from getting hooked up with the real losers out there.
I don't know what books you're reading that make you feel insecure, but I do know that they're not mine. What you are doing, though, is making the wrong assumption. You assume that if there's something you don't know about yet, or a skill you don't have learned, that means that you have a reason to feel inadequate. You're reading things that point out what you need to work on, and you're looking on the negative side. You're getting down on yourself as a result.
Should you be unhappy knowing that we all need to make mistakes to learn? Should you be sad to find out you've got more work to do?
NO! You should feel INVIGORATED. Energized! More work to do means you've still got more life to live. That's something to be excited about, not insecure. However, you are the one who can choose that interpretation.
I'm going to write you a very strong prescription, Mr. Good-Looking-Guy-Without-a-Woman.
FIRST: You need to stop looking at this all as work, and relax. I can tell from your letter that you're taking the dating game too seriously. You're discouraged, and that alone is something that women can smell on you like bad sushi.
SECOND: Get to work on increasing your Alpha behaviors and vibe. You want to come across as a dominant man, not a guy who's insecure and incompetent.
I created my programs to help guys who are WAY too into the "I need to get a woman" part of the game and not enough into the "I need to get a life" part of the game.
Having a woman will never fulfill you if you aren't a whole man in the first place. You'll just fall into more and more self-defeating beliefs and behaviors. Work on your own self-development with audio programs and enriching literature.
Stop slipping down the hill of insecurity! Dig in and get some traction.
THIRD: You need to make a COMMITMENT to yourself to learn this game by going out and playing it. Sometimes you'll win, sometimes you won't win. (Notice I didn't say "lose.") Make mistakes; it's the only way to really win in the end.
Last week I got a letter from a guy and it might be the most brilliant thing I've read all year. It said: "I don't learn as much about myself, how to manage my emotions, how to interact with people, and how to bounce back from failure as I do when I crash and burn and fail."
Read that again about twenty times until it makes sense.
No, wait, that would be giving you an exact number. Instead, read it until you GET IT.
Until you slap your head and realize this Truth: It's not how many mistakes you make. It's how many times you make a mistake and KEEP ON TRYING.
Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, The Seduction Method, and Secrets of the Alpha Man, and too many other articles to mention.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
Carlos: "I wanted answers to the riddle of women for years, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed (or even a clue, really), I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else.
(I started this before there was an "internet," mind you. :)
When I got as much as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying and experimenting with women. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got laid. I watched why people did the things they did and noticed how their behavior influenced how other people perceived them.
I have spent years and years out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why any guy should have to go through that.
So I wrote these e-books, crammed full of information that is practical, useful, and REAL. None of that "buy her roses/write her poems/tell her how you feel" crap.
You know, life is a lot shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you should have done?
You only get one shot at this life, so seize this opportunity. It's time to start winning.
Invest in yourself and learn the strategies and mindset that will make you successful not just with women but in LIFE."
Get the "Secrets of the Alpha Man program ... "